Yours Book 1: Losing My Innocence Read online

  I have an interview for a small company a few blocks from the N.F. Lincoln building. I’m excited about this one. I’ll be close to my friends, but I also get to work my way up by showing my skills. They handle more app accounts than web, or gaming, or any of the corporate stuff I was looking into. It’s not the corporate setting I had imagined, but it’s a great start.

  I can hear Kimmie singing in the shower and groan as I roll out of bed. I will be optimistic. So what I got like two hours of sleep. I can do this. I jump into a steaming shower of my own trying to wash away all thoughts of Nicholas freaking Lincoln and his stupid job offer that I want so bad. I can do this.

  Once out of the shower, I sit at the mirror in my bathroom to start on my makeup. I have to say I am getting the hang of this. I like to keep it as natural as possible, but today I am feeling bold instead of the natural lip gloss, I have gotten used to, I reach for a more purplish tinted gloss that Ettie swore by when we brought all my makeup.

  She would be happy to see me wear it. I just may take her up on lunch today. She has been driving me crazy with her wedding planning and I promised to have lunch with her. Today would be just as good a day as any. Not like there is much more time before I watch my sister on the happiest day of her life.

  Never thought that would make me jealous.

  Well, while I am being honest with myself I am really jealous. This job hunting sucks and if I wait to find a job before trying to find a relationship I may be old and grey. If I tell the truth, I guess, I had secret dreams of falling madly in love with the wonderful Mr. Lincoln.

  It was never about getting my career in place first and now that I know he has someone I think it is time I stop dreaming. I want someone of my own that can make me feel… well, I don’t know if I’ll ever react to anyone like I did Nick, but I want to find someone I can be happy with.

  Oh crap, there I go getting lost in my thoughts again. I’m going to make Kimmie late. I don’t have time to dry all of this hair now. I ran my hands through my thick waves that will now have to air dry and pray it will tame itself somehow. I had to resist the urge to whine for Kimmie to come to the rescue. I call myself fiddling with some product Ettie promised works wonders on her hair and have to be content with brushing it into a thick bun at my head.

  I run for the closet to dress in my light purple silk blouse and my black sheath dress jumper. The skirt stops just above the knee and the top of the jumper stops a few inches under my bust. The outfit gives me a sharp business look. I push my feet into a pair of black patent leather heels and smile at my choice. I think my big sister would be proud of me.

  “Let’s go Sophi,” Kimmie calls through the apartment. I can tell she is at the door already. I grab my purse and rush for the door, hoping my coordination stays intact. “So glad you could join me.”

  “Shut up,” I huff as I just make it into the elevator. Our building only has two floors, but the little elevator is a nice addition on days like this one.

  “Sorry, I shouldn’t be taking this out on you,” Kimmie mumbles.

  “What’s wrong?” I ask while checking my appearance in the elevator mirror. I have to laugh to myself, I am really checking a mirror.

  “It’s my insane boss that insists you come work for him,” she snorts, “he had a mass text sent out this morning demanding to know why you haven’t signed the damn contract yet. He has threated to clean out HR and our whole department if he doesn’t have you soon.”

  “Are you serious?” I gasp.

  “Are my boobs real?”

  “But he can’t do that, it is no one’s fault I don’t want the job, that’s just crazy.”

  “I did say he is insane, didn’t I? If things continue this way, I will be job hunting with you soon.”

  “Oh Kim, I’m so sorry.”

  “It’s not your fault he has his chains and whips in a bunch,” she says to herself. “Wish one of the other men in your life would take a page from his book.”

  “What?” I scrunch my face up in confusion and frown.

  “Nothing, forget I said any of that. Listen, will you do me a huge favor, please.”

  “Why do I feel like I am going to regret this,” I whine.

  “Sophi trust me, you won’t. You will be helping your best friends keep their jobs.”

  “I already agreed to go to the show.”

  “Yeah, but that is not going to keep him happy right now Soph,” Kimmie groans, “just come to the office have breakfast with me and Mark there and it will look like we are really trying. Mark and I will be spared his wrath.”

  “Oh Kim, really?”

  Kimmie locks her arm around mine as we step off the elevator giving me her best sad puppy face. I can’t stand when she pouts like that, I am helpless. I will kick myself later, but I know I already gave in. “Fine Kim, but it will have to be after my interview. I really want this one.”

  “Yay!!!” Kimmie squeals and hugs me. “I am going to text that bitch, personal assistant of his right now.”

  “Are you sure you have to do that? Can’t I just come in and be seen by a few people and go?”

  “No silly, Nick would kill anyone that lets you in that building without him knowing.”

  I officially feel like a rat that knows their time is numbered if they go for the cheese, but just can’t say no. I give up, the man is invading my life, my dreams, my relationships. Maybe it is time I see him and tell him I am never going to take that job.

  No surprise my interview was cancelled after I waited a half hour to be seen. This day sucked before it started. I texted Kimmie to let her know I will be over to her office sooner than planned as I walk the three blocks. My feet are killing me by the time I step off the elevator onto the twenty-seventh.

  There is a pretty little brunette in a red dress behind the reception desk. She greets me with a huge smile as I approach the desk. This place is great; I love the energy you feel from the time you step on the floor. Once again I curse Nicholas Lincoln for stealing my dream job from me.

  “Hello, how can I help you,” the receptionist bubbles.

  “Hi, I am Sophi Emilsson here to see Mark Fienberg and Kimberly Ann Clove.”

  “Oh yes, Sephora right?” The receptionist says enthusiastically as her smile broadens.

  “Yes,” I reply uneasily.

  “They are already in a meeting room upstairs waiting for you.”

  I bite back a string of curse words. This is a trap and I knew it. I have to get out of here and fast. There is no way I am going into any meeting room, and if he is there. I am so out of here.

  “You must be mistaken,” I rush, “I am just here to say hello.”

  “Nope, I had orders to escort you upstairs myself,” she beams as she bounces from her seat to let a petite, brown skin girl, only a few shades lighter than me, take her place. “This way, please.”

  I consider bolting for the closest exit, but I think about Nick’s threat to his staff this morning. I don’t want Kimmie, Mark, or this innocent receptionist to lose their jobs. I press my lips and follow her back into the elevator. I try to think of anything to get out of this as I watch the floors go by. Nothing, I have nothing when the doors open and the receptionist holds her hand out for me to exit.

  I almost fall back into the elevator when I see the redhead from my graduation party standing in front of the receptionist desk on this floor. She is gorgeous, no wonder Nick left with her and forgot all about me. I could never compete with this woman. She has to be six feet tall with legs that stretch on forever. Her white pants suit clings to her model perfect figure without one wrinkle in sight, making me smooth my sweaty hands over my skirt front.

  Her lips are painted a striking shade of red causing her hair to look like a phoenix’s mane. Her milky skin is almost porcelain like. She has sexy and woman written all over her, and here I am a computer geek with a new makeover. I want to turn and bury my face in my hands.

  I stand rooted in place with unshed tears stinging the backs
of my eyes. He has touched her in ways he will never touch me and here she stands like a trophy reminder.

  “Thank you, Amanda. I will take things from here,” the redhead says coolly.

  “You’re welcome, Miss. Carver,” Amanda replies and rushes back toward the elevator we just stepped off of.

  “It is so nice to meet you face to face Miss. Emilsson. I have heard so much about you. I was sorry I didn’t get to introduce myself at your party. I am Jillian, Mr. Lincoln’s personal assistant.”

  I can tell she is fighting to sound warm and inviting, probably fearing for her job like all the others. I watch as she makes short work of sizing me up. “Nice to meet you,” I reply, “but I can just wait for Kim and Mark at their cubical if that is alright.”

  Jillian flaps her hair over her shoulder as she laughs and waves me to follow her. “Nick has not cleared his schedule for Mark or Kimberly Ann. Nor has he blocked off a meeting room for you to sit downstairs,” she says condescendingly. “I have to say you have me curious, is it the money? Have we not said the magic number? Or is there something else that I am missing? I have never seen someone so determined to flush away their future and I certainly have never seen Nick so determine to have someone on board.”

  “I have my reasons for not wanting the position, but they are personal, if you don’t mind,” I say curtly.

  I don’t like this woman one bit. What does he see in her? She lets out an exasperated sound and shrugs at me. “Suit yourself, Nick is an amazing employer.”

  “I bet,” I bite out and step pass her into the room she has led me to.

  I step into the room to find Mark and Kimmie sitting nervously at a boardroom table across from each other. The chair at the head of the table is facing away from them toward the amazing view from the wall of glass windows. I can hear Nick’s voice rumbling through the room as he barks off clipped instructions to whoever is on the receiving end of the conversation.

  Jillian places a light hand on my arm to lead me to the top of the table to sit beside Nick. I can see the profile of his face as he finishes his conversation and Jillian takes the seat across from me in front of some file folders and a tablet.

  “Yes, I expect all of this done by today,” Nick orders. “It seems things aren’t getting done around here if I don’t do them myself. If it is not done, then I have the understanding that you will not be returning to the office tomorrow. Someone capable will be in your position.”

  He disconnects his call and turns his chair back to face the rest of us. His face is pure stone as he sets his eyes on me. I don’t know whether I should melt at the sight of him or if I should cringe in fear. He runs a hand through his unruly hair and licks his bottom lip.

  Oh, this is so wrong; I shouldn’t be here. The energy crackling between us is enough to have the hairs on the back of my neck stand up. Can he feel that, can the others in the room feel it? If Jillian can, she is sure taking it well, but if I looked like her I wouldn’t worry either.

  “It seems you all missed breakfast this morning,” Nicholas says impassively, not taking his eyes off of me once. “Jillian, please have them serve brunch now.”

  “Yes, Mr. Lincoln,” Jillian replies and taps something on her tablet.

  “Now Sephora, I have been a very patient man. These interviews you have been going on, I’ve allowed them so that you could get the experience you so desired, but I have come to the end of my rope.”

  “Excuse me,” I squawk incredulously.

  “Name your number, Sephora, tell me what it will take to close this deal today, I will not wait any longer.”

  “I have no number because I do not want the job. I thank you for the offer Mr. Lincoln, but the answer is no,” I say with finality.

  He growls, and I mean growls at me. “Everyone out,” he barks.

  Kimmie and Mark jumped up and rush for the door and I jump from my seat to follow. “Sit. Down. Sephora. Get out, Jillian, now!”

  Jillian blinks at him before collecting her tablet and exiting quickly. I stand watching the door everyone just left out of wondering if I can get out of the door in my heels without breaking my neck. That’s when I feel the power of this man pulsing at my back.

  Before I can turn, his hands are on my waist and his lips are at my ear. “I thought I told you to sit down. I never thought you would be so defiant. I need you to sit down Sephora before I say fuck the job and bend you over the table while I fuck you.”

  My mouth has gone completely dry. Am I having another of these hot dreams? Oh, I so want to stand here and see if he makes good on that threat. That is the best option since I know I can’t have the job.

  “Sephora,” he snaps.

  I pull away from his hands and lower myself into the chair. Nick sits on the table in front of me and pins me to the seat with his glare. “Now Sephora, tell me why you will not take this job,” he says as calmly as if he hadn’t said anything else.

  “Because I–because you–I can’t,” I whisper as I blush.

  “That’s not an answer, Baby,” he says as he leaned into my space and licks his lips. “Sephora, you are driving me crazy. I need you to take this position so I can have what I really want. If I get what I want first, you will not believe you earned it and as a business man I cannot let that brilliant mind of yours go to the next highest bidder. Do you see my problem?”

  “I–I don’t understand what you want,” I stammer out.

  “You definitely understand me, my little butterfly. I will have you Sephora, now, the question is what will it cost me.”

  “I am not some cheap whore you can buy,” I yell at him with tears threatening to spill over.

  He takes a deep breath and pinches the bridge of his nose before running a hand through his hair. “I never said you were, nor do I intend to treat you as one. Our relationship will be strictly professional when we are here in the office. I will never make you feel uncomfortable within these walls. But Sweetheart, outside of this building you will be mine and I will do so much more than just stroke that beautiful skin of yours.”

  “I won’t be anyone’s mistress. You already have someone,” I breathe.

  Nick narrows his eyes at me measuring my words. “What makes you think I have someone,” he asks half amused as he cocks his head to the side.

  “I saw you leave the party with Jillian,” I whisper.

  He throws his head back and laughs a full belly laugh. I want to hit him with something, this is not funny. I think I am more confused than before I came here. “You know you are so much like your brother. I can see his stubbornness and quick assumptions in you. Jillian is my personal assistant that is all. She accompanied me to the party because I had some business come up during your ceremony that I had to get a handle on.”

  “So then why did you ignore me after you gave me the necklace?”

  He reaches out lifting me from the chair and pulling me toward him, brushing the strains of hair that have come loose from my face and placing his forehead to mine. “Are you listening to anything I am saying to you, Sephora? I want you so badly it hurts. I expected you to outgrow your awkward stage, but I didn’t expect this. For four years, these beautiful eyes have haunted my dreams, and now I have to have you, Sephora.”

  He brushes his thumb across my bottom lip and groans as my breath catches in my throat. “This company is important to me, Sephora. I have to do what is best for it and I want to give you this job because I have yet to meet the mind that will create what I have envisioned until I met you.

  “I knew the moment I read your scholarship essay that you were the one. You will create what I need. I couldn’t have you confusing the offer with my feelings for you, but I don’t see a way to have one without the other so I want both, Sephora, I want your mind and your body.”

  “Yes,” I whisper.

  “Yes, what, Sephora?”

  “Yes to the job a– and y-yes to you,” I stutter.

  “Good girl, I would kiss you now, but I will wait just a li
ttle longer,” Nick smiles and pulls away from me to look into my eyes. “Thank you, Baby,” he murmurs as he runs his fingertips across my cheek and down my neck where he fingers the butterfly he gave me.

  “I should be thanking you,” I reply.

  “Oh, you will,” Nick winks with a wicked grin.

  Chapter Four

  The Office

  “Jillian, see to it that the last offer we made to Miss. Emilsson is gone over to her liking, have it signed and on my desk within the next hour. I want a copy sent to Mairettie & Mairettie as well. Kimberly Ann and Mark have earned the bonus we spoke of, take care of that,” Nick orders as Jillian and the others return to the boardroom.

  He starts for the door, pausing only to place a card in my hand and then leans in to whisper, “I’ll see you tonight.”

  I try really hard not to smile like a schoolgirl. I want so badly to squeal and hug Kimmie and tell her everything. I hold it in as much as I can as I look over at Kimmie and Mark. They both collapse into each other as Nick leaves the room. Mark is scowling, but Kimmie has a knowing grin on her face.

  “If you ever put me through something like that again Soph, I swear I am going to kill you with my bare hands,” Kimmie sighs.

  “Not if I get to her first. I actually like this job. I was sure he was going to can our asses this morning,” Mark blows out as he flops back into a seat.

  “Well, you both will be receiving a really nice signing bonus so I would be thanking Miss. Emilsson if I were you,” Jillian says as she opens and slides a folder to each of them. “If you two will just sign off you can get back to work.”

  Mark’s eyes bulge and he whistles at the paperwork. “Wow, Sophi, have I told you how much I love you.”

  “If you want your job you’ll keep that to yourself,” Kimmie hints as she signs the dotted line and slips it back across the table. She looks over to me and shrugs. “Just saying.”